I have studied the way grief curls into the base of my throat,
opens her sails to tender moments that catch gusts of wind
pushing me over to my knees. Grief last blew through the door
of an examination room while I waited in endless silence
for my ovarian ultrasound, rushed me with angry reminders
of the thirty-four years my mother has been gone while I show up for every appointment
in cold rooms, probed with cameras, mammograms, colonoscopies,
to prevent my own young demise. Grief crests over the hill
in the slide of afternoon in the yellow school bus that delivers my son,
tapping on my windshield days and years of ticking time.
Grief lies where sunlight hits a lonely bed like the way our cats once curled
into my mother’s pillow, waiting, though she never came back home.
Jennie Linthorst’s poetry has appeared in Bluestem, Edison Literary Review, Foliate Oak, Forge, Kaleidoscope, Literary Mama, Sanskrit Literary Arts Magazine, and Hopeful Parents. Jennie has published two books of poems, Silver Girl (2013) and Autism Disrupted: A Mother’s Journey of Hope (2011), with Cardinal House Publishing. Jennie is the founder of LifeSPEAKS Poetry where she works with individuals exploring their personal histories through reading and writing poetry. She is on the faculty of UCLA Arts & Healing and has presented workshops at the Los Angeles Expressive Arts Summit, The California Center for Creative Renewal, the Manhattan Beach Unified School District, UC Irvine Extension, the University of Santa Monica, and the National Association for Poetry Therapy. Jennie has a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica, certification in poetry therapy from the National Federation of Biblio/Poetry Therapy, and a BA from Skidmore College. More information can be found on her website at www.lifespeakspoetrytherapy.com.