Poems & Essays

13 Aug

Good as New

Babyhood 2 Responses

there was little sign of wear and tear

 

only on my perineum after the cutting                     [episiotomies were normal then]

my doctor sutured his work

                                      good as new     he said

not mentioning scars that ache after orgasm

 

you were brand new

the Silver Cross was second-hand

together you made a fine pair

 

you were wonderful wriggly and small

I was terrified

what if                          what if                                          what if

 

one sunny day I gardened

soil gritted under my nails

from weeding

and you slept in your pram

through one hour two

and unheard of into three

the church bell chimed five o’clock

 

Dong    Dong   Dong    Dong   Dong

 

my grubby hands grabbed you

 

shook you

poor startled child

we both shrieked     crazed

my/relief/your/rude/awakening

 

some months later             one warm autumn morning

back from the village shop

you pink and sticky

from ice-cream and monkey’s blood

I leant into your pram

 

unclasped your leather harness

as you sat

proudly upright

and slipped off your sky-blue coat

 

I rearranged you quickly

kissed your sweaty head and smelt behind your ears

but left your anchor straps undone

 

from the kitchen

I heard you scream and flew outside

 

I saw you lying on the path

and knew                 this time you’d died

 

until

you saved me with a cry

 

child of child-mother

you survived our early days

the Silver Cross served you well

your sister and your brother too      in time

 

by then   I was calmer                            and cared little

that my scars ached

 

 

Ceinwen E Cariad Haydon lives in Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, and writes short stories and poetry. She has been published in web magazines and in print anthologies. She graduated with an MA in Creative Writing from Newcastle University in 2017.

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2 Comments

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  1. Anita White

    August 20, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    Oh, my soul! You really hit the spot here, sister.

    Reply
  2. Robin Neidhard

    August 20, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    This really resonated with me. The last line hit me. Beautiful poem. Lovely. Thank you for writing these words.

    Reply

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